Emily Turns Two

Two years ago today, I delivered my second daughter into this world.  I read back over my description of Jordan's birth from her birthday entry.  I discovered that I look back at Jordan's birth with rose colored classes.

There is a huge difference from baby one to baby two.  There is the knowledge of what is to come and what you are capable of.  Emily was unplanned.  I had just found out that I didn't have a teaching job for the following school year and we had just bought our first house.  We had planned on waiting another year to get pregnant again.  Oops!  I spent most of my pregnancy adjusting to the idea that things were not going according to plan (This was hard for me to accept). 

I was very miserable at the end of my pregnancy.  I felt HUGE and tired since I was teaching as long as I could.  At my 38 week appointment my midwife told me that I was about 2cm dilated.  I had really felt a lot of contractions the last few days and I had really believed she was going to tell me that I was 4-5cm and we should have her!  I was upset I wasn't further along but I still had two week left.

At my 39 week appointment, I didn't see my midwife.  I had to see the doctor (who is nice enough but I prefer my midwife, Donna).  He told me I wasn't dilated at all and it would be another week.  I was beyond upset.  I had been having contractions a lot over the previous two days and really thought that I was in early labor.  I started crying immediately.  I was 39 weeks when I had Jordan...why not the same with Emily?  I called Josh and was so upset.  I went home and went to bed to calm myself down.

Two days later, my midwife called.  She said she had read the doctor's report and thought it was very strange that I had gone from 2cm to 0cm.  She asked if I was having contractions and how I was feeling.  I told her I had been having contractions but there weren't regular.  I'd get them about seven minutes apart for an hour and then nothing.  She told me to call in the morning, I could come in and get checked.  I informed work that I would probably be having the baby the next day (Jan. 23), and wouldn't be in.

After getting checked, Donna could see that I was tired and ready to have the baby.  She told me my only options were to wait until I was further dilated on my own or go to the hospital and start pitocin.  Even though I knew pitocin could make my labor more intense...I just wanted to have Emily in my arms.  I agreed to be admitted. 

I picked up Jordan.  I dropped Jordan at Uncle Jerry and Aunt Jenna's for the day.  I went home, got my back and Josh, and he drove us to the hospital.  We got checked in and our very wonderful nurse got me hooked up to the pitocin drip.  This was so different from Jordan.  I started labor with no water to cushon the contractions.  This time I wasn't dilated enough for them to break my water so I labored with it.

It was slow to start but I was able to really manage my pain.  With Jordan I had a mental picture of Jordan and focused on it during the pain.  I couldn't seem to picture Emily so I focused on images that calmed me.  Waterfalls, Josh's eyes, Jordan's sleeping face, etc.  Since my mom couldn't be here, I asked Dani to be there.  I knew she would yell at me if I needed it.  Josh's mom, Linda, was my "doula" making sure I was comfortable and encouraging me.  And Josh was up my head and encouraging me the whole time.

It was 6pm before they could break my water.  That was more painful than the contractions.  I wont share the gorey details of why.  After that I moved very quickly.  Transition was just as fun as I had remembered.  One minute contractions, 30 seconds apart but this time I knew what to expect and didn't need the stadol! (BTW...no epidural!)  Donna checked me and started yelling, "Triage!"  Suddenly they turned on the lights, broke down the end of the bed.  Please were in their gowns and I knew I was close.

During the pushing, I felt great.  I knew it would all be over soon and everyone was doing great keeping me focused.  Then Donna said, "Stop pushing!  Do not push!"  I said, "Yeah, right." but did my best.  Donna explained Emily was kinda large, and her should was stuck.  Donna turned her gently.  I reached down and helped deliver my sweet baby girl!

With Jordan, I saw her face and it was instant recognition.  With Emily, I was in awe.  She was so different from Jord.  She was more beautiful than I could ever have imagined.  I felt a rush of guilt and shame for not having wanted to be pregnant.  I panicked when they took her to check her out.  I remember yelling at Josh to stay with her.  I was laughing and crying. Donna kept telling me to breath and calm down.  She ordered stadol to help calm me down.  I'm so glad she did.  I was able to rest immediately.

Emily Mae was perfect except for some bruising on her face from being sunny side up and being crammed in the birthing canal for so long.  She was 9 pounds 4 oz and about 21 3/4 inches long.  She had tons of dark brown hair.  The next few days in the hospital were so different from with Jordan.  Josh went home at night to keep Jordan's routine as normal as possible and I was alone with Emily.  I needed the nurses help because Emily was taking a little longer to learn to nurse than Jordan.  I couldn't sleep.  I couldn't wait to be at home.

The past two years have been so fast.  She's no longer my little baby girl.  She is a toddler.  She is artistic, linguistic, a tinkerer, and very industrious.  She is a cuddler, a good eater, and has a great sense of humor.  She looks so much like I did.  I can't imagine my life without her.  I've gotten over the guilt.  She has been the best "mistake" I have ever made! 

Here's a slide show of her birth day!
Emily's First Day Slideshow

Potty Time

Emily sat on the potty last night!  She has been very interested in the potty when Jordan is on it.  She tries to get in there and see what it's all about.  She has started to make it her job to make sure the seat is down at all times, which beats a month ago when she thought it was her job to throw things in the toilet. 

I have Jordan's old froggy potty placed in the hallway for emergencies and in case Emily gets interested.  She helped to take her pants and shirt off.  I took off her diaper and she was pleased as punch to plop onto the potty.  She sat there and rubbed her belly and played clapping games.  She sang twinkle twinkle.

She kept getting up to get toilet paper and pretending to wipe.  She sat for about 20 minutes but didn't got.  I am stuck between being excited that she is starting to feel ready and sad at her growing up.  She is my last baby.  She's no longer a baby really. She is well into toddlerdum. 

I don't really have any quirky anecdotes for Jordan tonight.  She has been very sweet and helpful but we're dealing with some sneakiness and not following directions.  She is just so motivated by establishing her unique self.  Everything is, "No, I'll do it." or "I want it to happen this way!".  Despite giving choices, time outs, and good old fashioned talking to's, we are making some progress but it's slow and frustrating.

I think my mom gets a kick out my interactions with Jordan.  She is so much like how I was when I was little.  It's all karma coming back around to kick me in the butt!