It's really been too long since I've posted.  Life has been busy.  My first year as a gifted/math teacher is wrapping up.  It was a crazy adventure and I am still learning a lot about these strange and wonderful kids.

Jordan will start kindergarten in the fall.  I'm sad and very excited for her.   Emily will go to preschool three days a week or half days.  She is very excited. 

But here is what is weighing heavily on my mind this beautiful May Saturday.  I start cleaning up the kids playroom this morning.  I'm getting lightheaded as I bend over to pick up what seems like thousands of lego and velvet playset peices...when I realize...we have too much stuff.  When did they get so much stuff?!  I look around and realize I didn't buy most of it.  Most of it has come from birthdays and Christmases.  Now I'm thinking this is a double edged sword.  On one side, I'm grateful that my girls have people in their lives who love them and are generous with them.  On the other, I seem to be the only one cleaning these things up. 

I also realize...I'm a horrible example for how an organized person should be.  I pile things.  I know what is in all my piles but these are hap-hazard and all over the house.  I look at pictures of IKEA catalogues where everything is labels and neat...I grow frustrated and envious that there are people out there who are so naturally good at organization. 

I have attempted in the past to get organzied and to downsize.  How many Nora Roberts novels does a girl really need to have on hand?  Why am I holding on to a pair of jeans that fit before I had kids (those will never fit me again)? 

I lack the motivation to get started and cringe at the thought of trying to get my head-strong, heels-dug-in five and three year old daughters to lend a helping hand.  If they don't comply and I really do have to pitch their princess dresses....will I really be able to do that?  Am I so materialistic that I wouldn't see it through?  I hope that I have the resolve.

Parenting is so much more complex than anyone could ever warn you.  Especially when you have a five year old who really should become some kind of FBI negotiator. I find myself staring at her and asking myself if I'm smart enough to outwit her.  Then I shake it off and remind myself I am the Mommy and if I am strong...mean what I say, say what I mean...she will be a strong, independent, disciplined woman.  I want that more than I want to be lazy.  I just need to be reminded periodically.

Mommia Mia...here we go again...