Dog Days of Summer?

When I think about the phrase, 'The dog days of summer', I think of running around playing manhunt right after sunset.  I think of trips to Ohio and catching fire flies.  I think of swimming all day long and falling asleep, exhausted, in my swim suit.  I think of building friends and dreaming big.

And where have all those days gone?  Most days this summer, I spend about 4-5 hours total on the computer doing my coursework.  I try to do a little housework each day but I hate housework so I come up with some pretty lame excuses not to get it done. 

I had such big hopes about this summer.  I really wanted to build some great memories with my girls.  But I keep getting swallowed up by my work.  I think I may be a workaholic.  I crave the stimulation it brings me.  I love studying teaching and my craft.  I love talking about.  I feel like its work worth doing.

Then I feel immensely guilty because this is summer.  I spend all year on school stuff and I get all this extra time with my kids.  I tip my hat off to all stay at home parents, grandparents, and caregivers.  You all live lives of great meaning and dedication. 

I find I have a short fuse with my oldest daughter.  I see myself in her so very much and struggle to find a way to communicate that doesn't aggrivate both of us.  Add to her emotional reactions to everything, Josh's cool sense of reason and logic, and you get one smart intuitive child.  I remember my mom having a book on her shelf, 'Raising a Willful Child'.  Before I even knew what willful meant I had a feeling that book was about me.  I felt that I was so very different from my siblings.  She also had a book about middle children.  I must have kept her up nights with my antics and tantrums.

But how do I reach her?  How do I communicate that sometimes Mommys have to be the ones to choose what happens next.  As much as I always want her to have choices in her life...the reality is that she will not always be allowed to chose what comes next.  I try.  I tell her she can pick up her legos or her art supplies first.  She tells me that she shouldn't have to pick them up since they will just be on the floor later.  Better to leave them there. 

I'm frustrated.  I need a stronger backbone.  We've been using time outs more and more.  I am still using poisitive reinforcement but she is so darn moody.  At least she's cute....

Dance Recital head shot:



I love my sissy!




What kinda face is that Jord?




Ice Cream Monster!