Messes

This has been a very long morning.  Emily called out for me at 5am.  Here I was all excited about getting an hour back.  I blissfully remember being all cuddled up with Josh in bed in the years before kids.  Sleeping till noon (or later) on Sundays.  I don't know if there are any studies about the physical and psychological affects of day light savings but I personally feel a huge psychological affect!  Something in my brain just gets all gooey at the thought of gaining an hour! 

Some kids may be willing to snuggle in the wee hours of the morning until the sun peeks up over the horizon.  Emily is not one of those children.  When she gets up, she's up.  She immediately asks for a juice and a Callou (PBS Sprout show about a four year old boy) or Ho-Ho (a character from Ni Hoa Kai Lan on Noggin). 

Jordan joined Emily at 6:20am.  They both crawled into the recliner for a not so cuddly cuddle.  Elbows, knees, chins, and bonked heads ensued.  I got them both a snack and water.  I transferred my blanket and pillow to the couch and proceeded to konk out.  They, being the diabolical harbingers of sleep debrivation, transferred to the couch.

Later in the morning, I was slurping my coffee and working on some assignments I had not realized I skipped until this morning (that's another story).  The girls had been gleefully playing in their playroom.  I could hear them talk to one another, singing, playing house, and with legos.  It was quiet for a long time but I heard whispering so I figured they were forming their sisterly bond.  Who was I to interrupt such a special time between them?  Jordan came out to the living room to ask me if she could have a drink.  There, on her face, the evidence of mischief making. 

"Jordan, what's that on you face?"  I ask suspiciously.
"Noth-fing."  she replies innocently.
"It's looks a lot like marshmellows," I respond.  I watch as her eyes open wide.  I can almost here her internal monolgue...how does she know?  I race out to the playroom.  And there, inside her canvas pink Disney Princesses castle with tunnel...spread all over the floor are the remains of a bag of Lucky Charms cereal.  A quick scan confirms what I thought, all the marshmellows have been eaten, leaving all the cereal peices.  SIGH!

"Jordan!!!!!"  I hear her run.  She hides underneath Emily's crib.  I tell her she has a 10 minute timeout and she's not to leave her room.  I have never dolled out a "grounding" like this before and I hear her whimper as I stomp back out to the playroom.  I immediately vacuum up the mess in anger (I do like to clean when I'm angery).  In retrospect, I should have made her clean it.

After 10 minutes I was calmer and went in to talk to her.  I informed her that because of her poor choices, I was taking away all her dress up dresses for two days.  She could earn them back by helping me to clean up the playroom.  Talk about messes!

Cultural Excursion

The family and I headed out today since St. Petersburg Parks were having their centennial celebration, Party in the Parks.  My mother-in-law sent me an email all about the functions going on this weekend.  Josh and I decided to check out S.P.I.F.F. (St. Petersburg International Folk Festival).  We both have very fond memories of attending this when we were kids.  We ordered Jordan a world atlas for kids and are hoping to plant an interest in traveling since we plan to do a lot of it with the girls.

I think it's important to foster a curiosity and acceptance of cultures that are different from our own.  We want to experience other cultures and we want that for our children.  We told Jordan that SPIFFs was a festival celebrating all the countries all over the world.  There were dances, traditional dress, singing, drumming, and FOOD! 

Jordan really loved going into each booth and seeing all the artifacts from all the countries.  In Poland, she fell in love with the dolls.  In Korea, she enjoyed a fan display.  In Thailand, the orchid and bamboo displays.  We watched the tradition Ukranian dancing by kids only a little older than herself and Native American dances.  She asked a lot of questions at the Native American teepee.  Their jewelry was beautiful and Jordan was amazed that they were make from polished deer bones. 

Emily enjoyed all the different foods since she was confined to the stroller.  She ate Chinese donuts and dumplings.  She sampled Jamaican Jerk Chicken and LOVED the Veitmenese Port Kabobs.  She even like the Serbian cheese pie.  We all enjoyed Germany's apple pancakes.  Josh and I fell in love with Fiji's pork red curry with rice and chutney.  Holy Cow!  that was some tasty stuff. 

I think we'll make SPIFFs a tradition.  Admission was free and the food was extremely reasonable!  We have a great few ours out for around $30.  I highly recommend it to all families!  I wish there was a way to take my students.  I remember going when I was in middle school.  We had passports to stamp at each country we visited.  There was a scavenger hunt as well.

I'm going to be an expert

I'm helping Jordan get ready for bed tonight. She says, "Mom, I think I'm going to be an expert when I grow up."
"What kind of expert Jord?" I reply.
"One about the ocean." Jordan tells me.
"Oh! Like a marine biologist. That's someone who studies all the things that live in the sea." You can imagine my excitment. I immediately begin thinking about all the way cool careers my 4 year could one day have studying all the amazing creatures and plants that make the ocean their home. I picture her discovering some kind of deep sea creature.
"Oh no Mom! I mean a mermaid!" She exclaims.

Hope dashed! LOL! She then proceeds to tell me she will need a tail and a top and beautiful red mermaid hair (mermaid = ariel). She's just the best.

Power Struggles

I'm convinced that Jordan and I are destined to butt heads!  We both are strong willed and hard headed.  I want things done my way and she wants things done hers.  It's hard to not get mad when your four year old tells you, "No, I make the rules!" or, "You have to listen to me!" or "I don't care what you say." or "I don't like you anymore Mommy!".  It's hard not to lash out at that. 

I often have to walk away.  Its easy to forget, too, that she is just four years old because of her vocabulary and advanced conversation abilities.  She is, emotionally, just barely four.  She is focused on her autonomy right now, testing her boundaries, and feeling out where she fits in the world.  I pray for patiences and often send up prayers like this: "Please, Lord, give me the right words to say to my little girl to help her see I am trying to help and guide her."

The bedtime routine and getting dressed are the hardest.  Jordan wears ONLY pink clothes.  Although she will wear pants and shorts, she will ONLY wear dresses.  I just want to hand her an outfit in the mornings so we can get dressed and move on with our day.  The bedtime routine has improved greatly since I now say at the start, "One show, one book, one prayer, off to bed."  It's like a mantra and she seems to respond very well to the predicatable routine.

Emily has started to play and seek out structured games.  She enjoys playing hide and seek with Josh and Jordan.  Jordan will hide.  Josh and Emily stay in another room.  I can hear them count together and then yell out, "Here we come!"  Emily's wide grin and hysterical giggle rings through the house and lightens the heart. 

I watch the girls with Josh very closely.  I have realized that my dad passed away shortly after I turned 3.  Every moment that Jordan gets with Josh from here on out are moments I missed out on with my own father.  It is fascinating to watch them enjoy each other; play, laugh, argue, cuddle, and discuss.  So matter how she frustrates me...she is a miracle and she is one lucky duck.

Saddness

A Poem by Heidi Parker 10/12/10
When you know there is no healing, what do you pray for?


Peace, strength, acceptance?

I pray for peace…

     Peace for the hearts that deny there is anything wrong.

     Peace for the hearts that deny a strangers help

     Peace for the hearts that deny comfort to a loved one.

I pray for strength…

     Strength for the caregivers of in the sick

     Strength for the family members that have supported their efforts.

     Strength for the one left behind

I pray for acceptance…

     Acceptance for the stranger

     Acceptance of the hurt

     Acceptance of the final freedom

When distance keeps you from holding the ones who need it

When distance keeps you from your loved ones

When distance hardens your heart

     Who will lend you the comfort you need?



This poem is not related to being a Mom but a hurt I have on my heart right now that I need to let go of.

Proud Mama

A proud mama moment:

We went to the mall this evening so Jordan could pick out a new princess dress for her reward for going to all her swim lessons.  Josh had bought her a Little Mermaid but she didn't like how restricted her legs were.  She ended up choosing Cinderella's wedding dress.

Afterwards, we went to the playground at the mall. After playing for a few minutes Jordan came over to tell us a girl had been pulling on her dress.  We looked over to the little girl, who had Downs and possibly cerebral palsy.  We watched as the little girl pulled on other kids as they were trying to go down the slide.  It was obvious she was trying to play but was having a hard time getting the other kids to play with her.  As we watched some more, we realized the parents were signing with her. 

Josh told Jordan that the little girl was signing so she probably was hard of hearing and didn't know how else to tell her she wanted to play.  Jordan's eyes lit up and she said, "I could sign friend to her!"  She rushed over to sign friend.  The little girl smiled and instantly started signing with Jordan.  The little girl's name was Amanda.  They held hands and wandered around.  Jordan was careful to stay at Amanda's walking pace and reminded her to be gentle when she got rough.  They compared outfits and were signing the colors of their clothes.

What a beautiful gift to see out daughter looking beyond the physical appearance of a girl who was different and find a way to communicate and be friends.  Amanda was upset when they left.  She kept signing friend and home, as if she wanted to take Jordan with her.  The family was very sweet.

Later tonight, as Jordan and I were having our evening cuddle, I asked her what she would like to pray about.  She said, "We could pray for my new friend."  So we did, that Amanda would remain in good health and find more friends that she could communicate with and play with and be happy.

God Bless Little Girls and their generous hearts.

Happy Fourth Birthday Jordan Danielle

Four years ago today, I met someone who changed my life forever.  I know when I got pregnant for the first time that my bond with this unknown being would be special.  Not only because it would be my first child, but because I wanted her with every breath, every cell, every hope and dream.  And somehow I knew she would be a girl.  We half heartedly picked a back up boy name but I knew we wouldn't need it.

The day before I went in to get checked for the final time (Oct. 2, 2006), I was swimming and trying to reach my best friend on the phone, who was out of town.  I left a message not to worry, she wouldn't miss anything because I was feeling no contractions and thought I'd be another week.  Boy was I wrong. 

 I went into to get checked the next morning (Oct. 3, 2006) and I was 4, almost 5 cm dialated.  My midwife told me she could send me over to the hospital immediately to break my water so we could have the baby.  I just looked at her..."I can't!  I have too much to do today!"  LOL!!!!  She said the next day would be just as good.  I like to say that October 3rd is Jordan's almost birthday.

Josh came home from work early and I stopped by my mom's work on my way home.  A phone call to tell your mother you are going to have your first baby...well, it just didn't feel like it would communicate my excitement and fear.  Josh and I spent our evening getting ready for the coming days.  We took Zoe to the breeders for boarding.  We stopped at the store to stock up on paper products so no one would have to do dishes.  We did a couple loads of laundry and cuddled while watching movies.  I even got a nap in.

The next morning (Oct. 4, 2006), we got checked in a Morton Plant and by 8:30 am, Donna, my midwife, had broken my water and we were under way.  Nothing...and I mean NOTHING!...could ever prepare me for how painful labor was.  Jordan was sunnyside up which caused incredible back labor.  But as painful as each contraction was, I was terrified of the epidural. 

I remember begging for relief when I hit transition. Minute long contractions that were 30 seconds apart.  They gave me a shot of stadol to help me rest between contractions.  It slowed things down long enough for me to focus on pushing.  

At 4:20pm, I helped delivery Jordan Danielle Parker into this world.  I remember the first think I thought was, "Oh! It's Josh!"  Jordan was her father's spitting image from moment one...except for her nose which is straight off my own face.  After we knew she was perfect and healthy, I was able to realize what I was feeling.  There is a euphoria connected to giving birth.  I felt like I could do anything...accomplish to most difficult feats.  Although this feeling comes and goes...I often try to recapture it at my weakest moments.  

Jordan is amazing.  She is inquisitive, creative, sensitive.  I truly cannot wait to see who she becomes.  Any hope or dream I may have for her will pale with what she will actually accomplish.  

This morning, October 4, 2010, I woke up my oldest daughter by stroking my hand along her heart shaped face.  She slowly opened her eyes.  "Jordan, today...you are four.  Starting right now." She smiled the biggest of smiles up at my and put her hand on my cheek, "Really Mommy?  Really I'm four?"  It has come so fast and has been an amazing ride.   I can't wait to see what happens next!