I'm convinced that Jordan and I are destined to butt heads! We both are strong willed and hard headed. I want things done my way and she wants things done hers. It's hard to not get mad when your four year old tells you, "No, I make the rules!" or, "You have to listen to me!" or "I don't care what you say." or "I don't like you anymore Mommy!". It's hard not to lash out at that.
I often have to walk away. Its easy to forget, too, that she is just four years old because of her vocabulary and advanced conversation abilities. She is, emotionally, just barely four. She is focused on her autonomy right now, testing her boundaries, and feeling out where she fits in the world. I pray for patiences and often send up prayers like this: "Please, Lord, give me the right words to say to my little girl to help her see I am trying to help and guide her."
The bedtime routine and getting dressed are the hardest. Jordan wears ONLY pink clothes. Although she will wear pants and shorts, she will ONLY wear dresses. I just want to hand her an outfit in the mornings so we can get dressed and move on with our day. The bedtime routine has improved greatly since I now say at the start, "One show, one book, one prayer, off to bed." It's like a mantra and she seems to respond very well to the predicatable routine.
Emily has started to play and seek out structured games. She enjoys playing hide and seek with Josh and Jordan. Jordan will hide. Josh and Emily stay in another room. I can hear them count together and then yell out, "Here we come!" Emily's wide grin and hysterical giggle rings through the house and lightens the heart.
I watch the girls with Josh very closely. I have realized that my dad passed away shortly after I turned 3. Every moment that Jordan gets with Josh from here on out are moments I missed out on with my own father. It is fascinating to watch them enjoy each other; play, laugh, argue, cuddle, and discuss. So matter how she frustrates me...she is a miracle and she is one lucky duck.
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