Focus

Usually, in the summer months, I am guilty of losing my focus.  Last summer, I worked hard not to and I lost 20lbs.  It felt great.  I felt empowered.  Who knew I had self-control and will power when it came to food?  I also kicked butt in my UF coursework.

Over the school year, I know I am a workaholic.  I love my job.  I loved school when I was a child.  I felt like I was good at going to school.  I enjoyed being around my classmates (the competition, the relationships), I LOVED my teachers.  They were heroes to me in my eyes.  I felt an acceptance there.  I felt seen and heard.  Maybe that's part of th reason I became a teacher.  I love the atmosphere at schools where I am seen and heard, and valued as a contributing member of that community.  My school is like that for me.  At any rate, during the year, I am extremely focused on my curriculum, instrustruction, and my students.  But not really myself.

So summer is here.  I am enrolled in three classes (Teacher Leadership, Designing Techonology Rich Curricula, and SmartBoard training).  I did not take a job this summer so that I could focus.  I really started focusing on my health three months ago, as Josh has turned his lifestyle around.  I've lost 9lbs since then.  I am currently the weight I was on my wedding day!  That feels incredible.  When is crazy is that because of the weight and strength training I have been doing...I love better that I did on my wedding day!  I have about 13lbs left to go and I'm not in a hurry.

How am I doing it?  Focus.  I focus in on my calories and making sure I have a deficit each day.  I zigzag my calories. Monday I try to get in 1600 and on Tuesday 1300.  I have 3 solid meals and a couple of healthy snacks through the day.  I always make sure I have some kind of fruit right after I exercise.  My favorites are a banana or watermelon. 

In the past three months I excersized 5 days a week, alternating between long cardio days and weight/strength training.  Now that I have all day, I plan to go to the gym 6 days a week.  I will go for an hour each morning to do my cardio.  And I will go in the afternoons to do my weight/strength training.  There are a few classes that I'm addicted to so I switch up the scedule a little.  I do a power scult class on Monday evenings and Zumba on Friday evenings.  I tried the kickboxing class and I will probably return to that one this week but it definitly kicked my butt!

I feel great.  I have more energy.  Which I think will translate to my classes.  I hope!

Summer Starts!

Summer has officially started at my house.  I turned in my classroom keys Friday morning.  I am beyond grateful that my mother-in-law, Linda, is such a caring and supportive force in my family's lives.  She took the girls all day so that Josh (who just happened to work so much this week they gave him Friday off too), and I could go to the movies.  Of course, we are total movies snobs and can't just go to see one movie.  We saw 3!!!

First we saw X-men: First Class.  It was okay.  The stuff between Professor X and Magneto was great.  The actors did a compelling job of communicating that these two men were like brothers but they simply could not agree.  There wasn't nearly enough action for my tastes...also I like the laster hereos a little more...the first class was a little lack luster for me. 

The second movie, we saw was Pirates.  It was the fourth in a chain of movies.  It just wasn't the same without Kiera Knightly and Orlanda Bloom.  Johnny was Johnny.  Again, the parts I like most were between Barbosa and Jack Sparrow (two male leads).  Black Beard wasn't nearly as menacing away from his ship.  Penelope Cruz was annoying.  It was entertaining but not as good as it's predecessors.  The third movie we saw was Super 8, which I was only willing to see because Josh wanted to see it so badly.  I really enjoyed it.  It felt, to me, like a kick back to Close Encounters, ET, Goonies.  Those 80's action adventures but with today's technological enhancements.  I enjoyed it a lot.  The kids in it were great!

The girls enjoyed their day as well.  They got to go to a splash park, Chick-fil-a, and movies at their Nini's.  They had a blast without us.

Saturday was chill day.  Jordan had her first T-ball game.  She was AH-MAZE-ING!  She likes it so much more than soccer.  I think because everyone takes turns to bat, and there is a clear path for her to run bases.  She enjoys trying to catch the ball with her very sport black and pink glove, and doesn't seem to mind the pile up for the ball that these 4 years olds tend to do.  Her  best friend (boyfriend?) from school, Trevor, plays on another team but she if very excited to be able to see him every week.  She misses him and dress up days the most about school.  Vicki and Mike, Josh's aunt and uncle, came for the end of the game so we went out to lunch with them.  We took turns take naps the rest of the night.

Emily is a full grown two year old, mood swings and all!  I am realizing how different these children are.  When Emily gets an idea of something she wants to do in her head...there is no reasoning with her, there is no bargaining, bribing, or repremanding.  The only thing that seems to work...Mom you are totally going to love this...is reverse psychology!  The minutes I tell her she can't give me something, she hands it to me.  If I tell her there is no way she can be quiet, she hushes up.  It's kind of hilarious when I'm not getting frustrated with it.  Jordan is a negotiator, a charmer, and a pleaser. 

These are wonderful and challenging times!

Un-friggan'-beliebable!

What is it about a blank wall and kids?  When I come home in the afternoons I usually watch a show off the DVR while the kids play in the play room.  This lets me unwind and the girls get time to re-aclimate to being at home. Usually it works out great.  The girls play dress up together, build something with their legos, or play with their train set.  Not today.

Once Josh got home we all began doing our evening chores.  Jordan's job is to return all shoes to the shoe basket by the front door and return all her large toys to the toy box in the playroom.  I set up a trashbag and hand Emily trash to throw away.  I get all the smaller toys that the girls miss.  Josh usually makes dinner during this time.  While cleaning the back room this is what I found!

You can clearly see that she is getting good at the J and O of her name.  There is the beginnings of a R and D.  She likes writing E's since they are just straight lines. 

I'm thinking we should paint one wall with that chalk paint.

I actually felt a moment of pride when I saw that she had signed her "name" to her work.  I got down face to face with her and held her hands.

Mommy: "Jordan, did you know that it was wrong to draw on the walls."
Jordan: Big sigh. "Yes."
Mommy: "Why did you do it?"
Jordan: "Emily and I thought it would be colorful."
Mommy: "That doesn't make it okay.  If you feel that something is wrong and you might get into trouble...then you need to choose NOT to do it."
Jordan: "Okay."
Mommy: "Do you know what has to happen now?"
Jordan: "Yes.  You're going to throw my princess castle in the trash."
Mommy: "No.  Since you can't make good choices with your markers and crayons, then I have to take them away for a while."
Jordan: "Okay.  I understand."

I was more upset that she chose to do something even when she admittadly knew it was wrong than the coloring. 

Oh these little girls!

Emily Turns Two

Two years ago today, I delivered my second daughter into this world.  I read back over my description of Jordan's birth from her birthday entry.  I discovered that I look back at Jordan's birth with rose colored classes.

There is a huge difference from baby one to baby two.  There is the knowledge of what is to come and what you are capable of.  Emily was unplanned.  I had just found out that I didn't have a teaching job for the following school year and we had just bought our first house.  We had planned on waiting another year to get pregnant again.  Oops!  I spent most of my pregnancy adjusting to the idea that things were not going according to plan (This was hard for me to accept). 

I was very miserable at the end of my pregnancy.  I felt HUGE and tired since I was teaching as long as I could.  At my 38 week appointment my midwife told me that I was about 2cm dilated.  I had really felt a lot of contractions the last few days and I had really believed she was going to tell me that I was 4-5cm and we should have her!  I was upset I wasn't further along but I still had two week left.

At my 39 week appointment, I didn't see my midwife.  I had to see the doctor (who is nice enough but I prefer my midwife, Donna).  He told me I wasn't dilated at all and it would be another week.  I was beyond upset.  I had been having contractions a lot over the previous two days and really thought that I was in early labor.  I started crying immediately.  I was 39 weeks when I had Jordan...why not the same with Emily?  I called Josh and was so upset.  I went home and went to bed to calm myself down.

Two days later, my midwife called.  She said she had read the doctor's report and thought it was very strange that I had gone from 2cm to 0cm.  She asked if I was having contractions and how I was feeling.  I told her I had been having contractions but there weren't regular.  I'd get them about seven minutes apart for an hour and then nothing.  She told me to call in the morning, I could come in and get checked.  I informed work that I would probably be having the baby the next day (Jan. 23), and wouldn't be in.

After getting checked, Donna could see that I was tired and ready to have the baby.  She told me my only options were to wait until I was further dilated on my own or go to the hospital and start pitocin.  Even though I knew pitocin could make my labor more intense...I just wanted to have Emily in my arms.  I agreed to be admitted. 

I picked up Jordan.  I dropped Jordan at Uncle Jerry and Aunt Jenna's for the day.  I went home, got my back and Josh, and he drove us to the hospital.  We got checked in and our very wonderful nurse got me hooked up to the pitocin drip.  This was so different from Jordan.  I started labor with no water to cushon the contractions.  This time I wasn't dilated enough for them to break my water so I labored with it.

It was slow to start but I was able to really manage my pain.  With Jordan I had a mental picture of Jordan and focused on it during the pain.  I couldn't seem to picture Emily so I focused on images that calmed me.  Waterfalls, Josh's eyes, Jordan's sleeping face, etc.  Since my mom couldn't be here, I asked Dani to be there.  I knew she would yell at me if I needed it.  Josh's mom, Linda, was my "doula" making sure I was comfortable and encouraging me.  And Josh was up my head and encouraging me the whole time.

It was 6pm before they could break my water.  That was more painful than the contractions.  I wont share the gorey details of why.  After that I moved very quickly.  Transition was just as fun as I had remembered.  One minute contractions, 30 seconds apart but this time I knew what to expect and didn't need the stadol! (BTW...no epidural!)  Donna checked me and started yelling, "Triage!"  Suddenly they turned on the lights, broke down the end of the bed.  Please were in their gowns and I knew I was close.

During the pushing, I felt great.  I knew it would all be over soon and everyone was doing great keeping me focused.  Then Donna said, "Stop pushing!  Do not push!"  I said, "Yeah, right." but did my best.  Donna explained Emily was kinda large, and her should was stuck.  Donna turned her gently.  I reached down and helped deliver my sweet baby girl!

With Jordan, I saw her face and it was instant recognition.  With Emily, I was in awe.  She was so different from Jord.  She was more beautiful than I could ever have imagined.  I felt a rush of guilt and shame for not having wanted to be pregnant.  I panicked when they took her to check her out.  I remember yelling at Josh to stay with her.  I was laughing and crying. Donna kept telling me to breath and calm down.  She ordered stadol to help calm me down.  I'm so glad she did.  I was able to rest immediately.

Emily Mae was perfect except for some bruising on her face from being sunny side up and being crammed in the birthing canal for so long.  She was 9 pounds 4 oz and about 21 3/4 inches long.  She had tons of dark brown hair.  The next few days in the hospital were so different from with Jordan.  Josh went home at night to keep Jordan's routine as normal as possible and I was alone with Emily.  I needed the nurses help because Emily was taking a little longer to learn to nurse than Jordan.  I couldn't sleep.  I couldn't wait to be at home.

The past two years have been so fast.  She's no longer my little baby girl.  She is a toddler.  She is artistic, linguistic, a tinkerer, and very industrious.  She is a cuddler, a good eater, and has a great sense of humor.  She looks so much like I did.  I can't imagine my life without her.  I've gotten over the guilt.  She has been the best "mistake" I have ever made! 

Here's a slide show of her birth day!
Emily's First Day Slideshow

Potty Time

Emily sat on the potty last night!  She has been very interested in the potty when Jordan is on it.  She tries to get in there and see what it's all about.  She has started to make it her job to make sure the seat is down at all times, which beats a month ago when she thought it was her job to throw things in the toilet. 

I have Jordan's old froggy potty placed in the hallway for emergencies and in case Emily gets interested.  She helped to take her pants and shirt off.  I took off her diaper and she was pleased as punch to plop onto the potty.  She sat there and rubbed her belly and played clapping games.  She sang twinkle twinkle.

She kept getting up to get toilet paper and pretending to wipe.  She sat for about 20 minutes but didn't got.  I am stuck between being excited that she is starting to feel ready and sad at her growing up.  She is my last baby.  She's no longer a baby really. She is well into toddlerdum. 

I don't really have any quirky anecdotes for Jordan tonight.  She has been very sweet and helpful but we're dealing with some sneakiness and not following directions.  She is just so motivated by establishing her unique self.  Everything is, "No, I'll do it." or "I want it to happen this way!".  Despite giving choices, time outs, and good old fashioned talking to's, we are making some progress but it's slow and frustrating.

I think my mom gets a kick out my interactions with Jordan.  She is so much like how I was when I was little.  It's all karma coming back around to kick me in the butt!

Happy New Years!

Happy New Years Everyone! 

Jordan had a great time at her Nana B's house with Kayden and Trent, her cousins.  She got to run almost completely wild and free. 

Emily, wasn't quite so happy.  The party started about an hour before her like-clock-work bedtime.  She was whiny and fussy.  Josh ended up taking Emily home where they battled out bedtime without Mommy.  Emily finally fell asleep on  Josh in our rocker recliner.  Sweetest thing I've seen in along time is the two of them cuddled up in my chair together.

Jordan cuddled up on the couch while I held Emily for a little while.  I transferred them both to their prospective beds, then watched the ball drop.

2010 saw a lot for the Parker Family. 

• I started my graduate program and have maintained a 4.0 average across my first three semesters. 
• Jordan started VPK three days a week and loves it.  I've never seen her learn and change so much as I have this past year. 
• Emily turned one, learned to walk, talk, sing, and dance through the year with joy and laughter. 
• Josh and I celebrated five years of marriage on a cruise to the Bahamas. 
• I started teaching a new grade with a new team and a new classroom. 
• I lost 20 pounds and reached my pre-pregnancy weight through self-control, a healthy diet, and exercise.

I have to wonder what 2011 has in store for us.  It feels like a waiting year since 2012 is going to be a big one for us.  I will graduate and Jordan will start Kindergarten.  For now, I will hope that we are able to restore some financial security.  I will hope for patience and strength in communication with my family members.  I will hope for peace of mind and clarity in decision making.

I am making a resolution to lose the last 20 pounds that will put me at my healthiest weight for my height and age.  I am resolving to maintain my 4.0 GPA.  I am resolving to be more patience with my oldest daughter, and more consistant with my younger daughter. 

Again, Happy New Year friends and family.  I pray for peace, hope, and love for you in this new year.

Dreams

Jordan fell asleep on the couch while we were watching the animated series, Avatar: The Last Airbender last night.  So I hauled her into her own bed (haul is the best word because she is HUGE now.  It's hard to carry her at all).  About 4:30 am she came into our room.

Jordan: "Mom, you forgot our prayer."
Me: "Jordan, you fell asleep on the couch before we could do prayers."
Jordan: "Could I cuddle with you and do our prayers now."
Me: "Sure."
She climbs under the covers and we snuggle in.  I recite the prayer Jordan has constructed and wants repeated nightly. 'Dear God, please protect Jordan while she is sleeping.  Give her the sweetest of dreams about ponies, princesses, castles, and pink sparkly dresses.  Thanks you God for the sun, soil, rain, and flowers.'  She then adds in a person she wants to pray for.

Jordan: "Good night Momma."
Me: "Night Jord."
We both fell back asleep and at an unknown amount of time later, I feel Jordan's belly shaking.  I realize she's giggling in her sleep.  Then she starts laughing out loud.  After a couple of minutes I realize she is awake.

Me: "What are you dreaming about Jordy?"
Jordan: "Oh Mom, it was the funniest thing.  Donald Duck was screaming "DUCK! DUCK!" and then he fell in the doggy pool.  Do you know who was in the pool with Donald?!  Free Willy!"
Me: "That is funny Jordan.  That must have been a big doggy pool."
Jordan: "It was HUGE!" 
She then started laughing hysterically again.